As I reach for the exit and look back to what’s stopping me I see emptiness. What is it that is holding me down? Looking around it’s all clouded, like a dream. Is it a dream? No, maybe a nightmare! That’s not right either. I am not a sleep. I am a live. A beating heart, breath, movement all a part of my existence. Existing, yes I exist. Numb most of the time but I am here. Where? Where is here? Listening… Nothing, I hear nothing. Feel… No, nothing there either. Look… a fog, something in the distance, can’t make it out. Why can’t I move?
this life we live. Strange how we repeat and repeat what we repeat just to end up repeating it again. It’s like no matter how much one tries to adjust and change it seems like history, as they say, repeats itself. Alterations made with intent to change and re-create and bring a more desirable outcome end in an individual discovering that they are who they are and no matter how hard they run from it they face themselves when looking in the mirror. Embracing that person and working with the individual they see and have tried so hard to erase can actually, in a twisted way, blossom into a productive and radiant being. Human being that is.
I love to take pictures. It’s the one thing, aside from being a mom that I really enjoy and I’m getting pretty good at it. I’ve been serious about photography since 2006. I mostly take shots of nature and children of course. Lots and lots of flowers out there and any chance I get I’m shaping a shot. My son recognised my passion and purchased a nice camera for me as a gift. I love it. Now I take even more pictures. This year my oldest gave me a tripod. Time to take some with me in the mix. Well, that just goes to show that my boys do pay attention to their mom, even if it seems like they are all caught up in their own world. They know what makes me happy and knowing that makes me happy too.